Polyamory is a practice of having multiple loving relationships at the same time. It is sometimes referred to as non-monogamy, or ethical non-monogamy. All relationships are consensual and each knows about the other. There are no secrets between any of the lovers.
Some polyamorous people will have relationships with separate individuals who do not have relationships with each other. Others might have relationships that cross and have multiple connection points. No matter how the relationships are connected, these are commonly referred to as Polycules. Each polycule is different, some form a ‘V’ where one person is involved with two parties who do not have a connection between them. Some form a Triad where three parties share a connection with all others. Some form a Quad where 4 parties are involved and in that environment it is possible for all parties to interact, but sometimes they do not.
My first poly relationship began as a ‘V’ and became a Triad, before returning to the V and now I am in a Dyad relationship, a one on one, with my Fiancé. I still have feelings for others, but I am not currently engaged in any other serious relationships. But that doesn’t mean I am not Polyamorous, just that my current relationship configuration is one on one.
As you can see from the diagram, these Dyad relationships can evolved into any number of polycules, and they can take on many different forms, and these are only a few examples of the relationship dynamics that can be formed. Add more people the polycule grows. The key to all of it is love and communication without exceptions.
This isn’t meant to be an in depth look at Polyamory or Polycules, it is just to serve as an introduction to a part of my life and who I am. It isn’t the biggest part of me, nor is it the most minor part. It is just a part that may help you to understand me better.
I am at a place in my life right now where I am extremely happy in my current Dyad. My love for my fiancé is beyond anything I have had for another person ever before. We communicate in a way that is so organic, and yet deliberate. We tell each other everything, we talk about our feelings. We check in with each other regularly.
As I have said already, right now I have no other serious relationships. I have some friendships that have transcended the common and entered into the romantic peripherals, but they would be best described as Pause and Continue relationships. When I get to see them, we can be as loving with one another as my fiancé and I, but we may go weeks or months without seeing one another, and sometimes even as long between talking or texting. But when we see one another, we know how we feel for each other and it’s beautiful. It’s beautiful because it is love and love is the most precious thing on earth.
If you are interested in learning more about Polyamory and non-monogamous relationships, there are many sites and books about the topic that can help you to understand more. One recommended site that I was pointed to is Poly.Land it’s a blog that talks about many different lifestyles, but has a rather extensive category of Poly 101 content. Just understand that polyamory is in no way a free pass to cheat, lie, or have sex with just anyone you want without consequences. Polyamory is work, it is communicating, and most especially, it is listening. Think that is hard with one person, now try adding more. If you aren’t ready for that, you aren’t ready for polyamory.